If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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