She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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