She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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