Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
