Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
