have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
