there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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