The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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