you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
