What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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