I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
