Me too!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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