Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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