4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
NoShamevember. You game?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
