i think i have two assholes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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