I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize