So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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