whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Randomize
