my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Come see our sink grown plant.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
