He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
