just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
