im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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