Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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