He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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