It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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