Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
