Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Randomize
