i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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