last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You need a sexual gate keeper
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
