He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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