i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
