Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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