Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
im on a boat
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