she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
