I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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