yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
