Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
