i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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