Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
