trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
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