Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
