Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
