In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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