That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize