i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
