maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize