STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
