1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize