All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
