This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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