you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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