JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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