Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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