the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
