I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
