dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
