soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
